Define Your Character

Well, few days ago I mentioned that we will be having a competition in here, I’m going to ask you a question, and questions like these can define our characters and who we are, you need to post your answer as an article in the comments and the best comment will be published in tomorrow’s post, my topic for today is about forgiveness and forgetting, we all have things deep down in our hearts that we either can’t forget or can’t forgive, you maybe forget but never forgive, and sometimes you forgive but never forget, I hope you all participate tonight and bring out the best in you, speak for your opinion to define who you are.

My question is:

Which is easier and healthier for us to forgive or to forget and what is the difference?

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15 thoughts on “Define Your Character

  1. Often people say that the words ‘forgive and forget’ are the most painful ones and indeed very hard to follow in life. I do not agree. I believe that forgiving and forgetting are a kind of medicine that has the power to heal the deepest and most painful of all injuries. It is a type of glue and the only one which can fix together the broken pieces of our heart. It has a very powerful angelic healing magic that can make our lives beautiful <3<3<3.

  2. Forgive or forget. Really, it’s when we are attached to outcomes and identify our own self worth and self image with those outcomes that the road blocks seem to crop up in regards to forgiving and/or forgetting. What if, we never forget because these experiences are what brings us to this very moment and this very moment is perfectly imperfect? It is our moment. What if we consciously choose to remember, acknowledge how we truly feel about the experience and then let it go or rather, let our emotional story we attached to it go? I believe this leaves space and room for so much beauty. I choose beauty over suffering every time. Gratitude and compassion are powerful tools in my journey.

  3. I believe that most people think that it is easier and healthier to forget. In reality, this is a misnomer since, in reality, they are not forgetting anything. It is an illusion that it is forgotten, and will always find a way to resurface and harm you, again and again. Those who do this are, merely, suppressing the truth. The art of forgetting results in a smoke and mirrors game of closing down the heart, which achieves nothing. To forgive one must drop/ his her guard, opening up the heart, allowing him/ herself to be exposed to self and others. It is the only sure way to let go, purify the soul, and regain the balance of health, well being.

    1. Hello Lisa,

      Yes, you are absolutely right. I love what you say right here: “To forgive one must drop/ his her guard, opening up the heart, allowing him/ herself to be exposed to self and others. It is the only sure way to let go, purify the soul, and regain the balance of health, well being.”

      Much love

      Ivana

  4. Forgiveness is the most important, and I forgive because I need to let go of the pain and the negative feelings that come with holding on to hurt and anger. I forgive for my own wellness more than any other reason. To forget you must first forgive. Without forgiveness there is no forgetting. Just recently I grouped a few devastating hurts and threw them away. I made a deliberate decision to put them all behind me and started to move forward with my thoughts, my emotions, and my intellect. I became lighter, happier, and somehow I forgot!

    Much love!

  5. To forgive ! Its more important too because you have to forgive first so you can forget. If we are forgiving then God will be forgiving towards us too ! Treat people as you want them to treat you; if you asked them to forgive you then you must be willing to forgive them too for the mistakes they have done. Forgivness leads to peace of mind !

    1. Well, after 20+ years of pretending to forget, I finally realized that the abandonment issues I had been holding on to as a result of my father not being in my life, were being played out in all of my love relationships with men. It isn’t a pattern that was so easily overlooked. I noticed, but when you are desperate to be loved, you will take whatever comes your way, even if that means overlooking a few, rather obvious signs. The majority of my boyfriends cheated on me. Sure, they might have seemed like nice guys, hell, they probably are in their own right, but I subconsciously dictated that I would not be loved. I had to deserve less than what I longed for, if, even my father couldn’t stay to love me. Funny how it all comes back around to me being unlovable, as opposed to them being unable to love. Well, long story short, the love of my life, my son, the man I thought I had raised to be a better man than all of those before him, cheated on his long time girlfriend and revealed it to her 2 months before they were to be wed. When he called me to tell me that he had cheated on his best friend, suddenly my perspective changed. My negative thoughts, my dark memories, my hurt feelings seemed to evaporate, in the matter of an instant. While listening to his confessions of fear, confusion, pain, and doubt, I felt my center relax, and become very peaceful. Suddenly there was clarity, and I realized that if someone as innocent in his fears and doubts and pain, as my son, could betray the one he loves, then perhaps all of those before him who I had judged and chastised and hated, and perhaps even shamed, were all innocents to their misguided feelings and decisions. It was cathartic to release them from my life. It was a release of myself and all of the blame and shame I placed on myself. Forgiveness is the only way to heal and grow.

      1. I’m not as extensive as the others, but forgive , we all carry tremdous amount as we live. The more that we can give up the better we are.

      2. thank you Michelle for sharing your experience with us, it illuminates the idea in a different way, and that’s why it so going to be with the winner posts 🙂

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