By Nicole Lacolle
I am thinking positive. I decided it and I’m doing it!
When I sleep, it’s positive, I need to rest
When I don’t sleep, it is positive; I’m not running away from my problems anymore
When I eat it is positive, I got back my appetite
When I don’t eat it is positive, I will lose weight
When I cry it is positive, I can finally express my emotions
When I don’t cry it is positive, I’m strong enough
When I work it is positive, I keep myself busy
When I don’t work it is positive, I deserve some rest
When I’m calm it is positive, I’m not vulnerable anymore
When I’m not calm it is positive, I am learning to react
But why can thinking positive make me feel negative?
September 16, 2007
I was diagnosed with severe depression at the age of 13. I was given treatment that I never took for longer than two or three months. My parents were in denial, and didn’t believe I needed any treatment or any doctor’s visit. Maybe they were right, I don’t know, maybe I was never depressed, but I am sure that their reaction was not the good one to have. Telling me that the doctors are stupid, that nothing is wrong with me, that i’m just a “stupid owl ” who enjoys sleepless nights and crying and complaining was certainly not the best way to deal with me. I have heard my father tell my mother so many times:” you throw her now in a madhouse, I don’t want her home”. All I wanted was to be home, to feel home, to be accepted at home.
Doctor’s advice was always to take my medicine as prescribed, and stay positive, think positive, act positive, be positive, but without any further explanation. How can you ask a person living in hell to see the positive side of life, if you don’t show her a good example?
Negative facts of life can’t be transformed. Your tears of sadness won’t become tears of joy, the death of a loved one will never be a happy experience, BUT the secret is in accepting the bad as well as the good, accepting the hard times that come with the beautiful ones. Accept your life and live it to the fullest despite your problems.
Being positive is not deny what is negative, it’s just living it and learning from it.