Stay

Lately I have received an Email from a fan of Echoes, who asked me to post a letter she wrote to her friend, to show her how much she means to her publicly, and I was delighted to be a part of this, and here is the letter.

By: Mai Weshah

 

The most Beautiful word in the English dictionary is ” Stay “‏

I’m not going to publicly mention who this is, only that this is to my best friend who I desperately want to stay. They’ll know when they see it who I’m talking to. I hope that you’ll understand what I’m trying to say, because I couldn’t get it out myself face to face every time I saw u. I’m so sorry.

 

I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what to say and it hurts so much that I feel like my soul is ripping into pieces. I’m actually stating everything that’s on my mind and here I thought I was destined to be antisocial. But now that I’m trying to say what I want to say, I find that no words are enough.

 

I have no idea how to tell you what you mean to me. You’re best thing that ever happened to me and I love you. Even though I haven’t known you that long, I already feel like you’re my sister and I would never want to lose that, ever. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I would miss you and how much I would literally die inside if you weren’t here. Who else would I make stupid inside jokes with, who else would I creep on, who else can I laugh about nothing in particular with? I’m generally not an emotional person, but I don’t even want to think about how horrible I’d feel if you were gone.

 

I don’t know what to say, I really don’t. I don’t want you to leave- not just me but so many other people. I’m being selfish by saying that I don’t want you to leave me, but I don’t care. If you can understand how I feel, that’ll make this at least a little bit easier. If this is selfishness then I guess I’m the greediest person. You think what you do isn’t good enough, but it’s you being you that’s good enough. No one else can be you. You’re someone who the world would be crippled without and no one else can be you for you. You’re special and if you weren’t here, then some of the my world’s uniqueness would be gone and it would be your personality and spark that would be gone. That would kill me inside. I feel like I’m going insane because I know what I want to say but I can’t seem to make it mean enough. I wish I could make it mean enough because I know that both your feelings and mine are at stake here, so please, please try to understand what I’m saying.

 

I Don’t think I don’t know how hard this must be for you. I do understand that a lot of your life sucks right now. But just remember that you still have us. Nothing will ever change your friends. We’ll always be here for you no matter what. We love you.

 

I can’t do this, I don’t even understand, but I’m trying because I know that you trust me enough to listen. I hate that I can’t get this out because I don’t want this to be the only time you know exactly what I think.

Drawing by: Mai Weshah

 

I will never be sorry for having met you. You are an incredible person and I know you can accomplish whatever you want to do. Ten years from now I want to be the one who will point to you with a smile and loudly declare that this GREAT PERSON is my best friend. I want to point to you when you’re doing great at whatever you wanna do and say that I know you, not refer to you as the best friend I knew who could have been something great.

 

I know your life is hard right now but please keep going, I’m begging you. I want you to stay. I don’t just want you to stay for me, I want you to stay because you realize what a wonderful person you are. I don’t know if anything I say can help but I hope to God it can. I prayed, okay? I asked God for you to feel better. Feel better, it sounds so insubstantial now but I’m terrified of what I’m really speaking of. I guess I’ll just say it though.

 

I don’t want you to kill yourself. I want you to stay here and show whoever thinks you’re not good enough that you are the most beautiful person that anyone could ever think of. You’re my best friend and you’re one of the few people whose opinion I actually value. I love you and I don’t care.

 

You’re beautiful. You’re funny and comforting and you’re always there for me. You’re incredibly smart and you’re a great person. Without you, I would have never known a great friend. Without you, a lot of people would be missing out.

 

So please. Stay. You’re my More Than A Feeling, and don’t ever forget that.

 

I love you ayah barq a lot.

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