I have been thinking for an hour as I am staring to my screen doing absolutely nothing, about how many lives have crossed through me and how many have I passed by, but what put me into wondering is that I now realized that I am no more that same person, maybe time had changed and things are no longer in their right places, but if I went back there and walked across the same old steps, I wouldn’t be shocked to find out that it was me who changed after all, and I can’t help but to wonder if that is something I should be happy about or not. Have I made the right choices? Have I been fixing myself or only trying to clean up my regrets? Have I messed up?
And while this part of me is giving me a hard time this afternoon, I am trying harder to get my mind into something else, something that I would believe and have faith in, something that is absolute and would cause me no confusion, but is there anything absolute anymore? Does life still consist of black and white and nothing but black and white? Right and wrong? Then why do I always find myself stuck in that grey zone? Where I would need to fight in order to find my right path and become the person I want to be, because through all the persons that I have become I still haven’t managed to find myself yet, and I don’t know if there would be answers somewhere for my wonders, but one thing I’m quite sure of and that it’s not easy to be me.