People would usually call that crazy, they might say it is a bit dramatic, they would ask me to knock of these thoughts and get busy, well, let me tell you how I got myself tripped into this circle of thoughts.
A dull Saturday afternoon, in the one hour I had between my 2 classes, each in a different place, too lazy was I to study or read a word and not enough time to go home, so I decided to walk to my second class, I put my headsets on, playing the songs loud enough not to hear a thing but the music, then I found myself gazing around, it’s funny watching people talk and interact when you are hearing nothing, you get to see the excitement on someone’s face when maybe he is just talking about his last night outing, or you would gaze into a girl talking in a sad face when maybe she is just whining about not finding a dress for the wedding she is attending tomorrow night, I gazed around and I couldn’t stop wondering, do these strangers know they are taking a part of our lives?
It’s ironic how a very small detail or one word can turn your head upside down and put you in non-stop arguments with yourself, you would start asking yourself questions you are incapable of answering, you would start giving promises you are not going to keep just to make it up for yourself, or maybe you would come up with excuses not to blame yourself, and put the blame on somebody else or on life setbacks, you would get angry on yourself, on your family, on God, on everything and everyone, then you will get too tired and you will try to shush your head down.
You are maybe thinking now what has this got to do with what I’ve been doing that day, but it got me thinking while looking into those people, not knowing what they are going through, and not being able to tell if someone is happy or sad just by the look on his face, made me realize that we always give ourselves the impression that we are the only ones suffering, it’s easier to feel like you are the only one suffering, the only one who got it the hard way, you are not, everyone got his own battle to fight, and everyone had managed to get past their unpleasant history and found their way to survive, so yes give yourself some credit but be tough on yourself at times, nothing is wrong with that, nothing is wrong with being tough on yourself every now and then, because that will put you right on track again.
Someone once said: “get busy living or get busy dying”. Which is it for you?